February 12, 2020

Saving lives and honouring dad’s memory – Chris and Tom’s story

Saving lives and honouring dad’s memory – Chris and Tom’s story


After Martin Peel passed away in 2018, his sons Chris and Tom decided to keep his spirit of kindness going. Chris talks about how his family’s rugby club, which Martin was a part of for over 50 years, is now helping save the lives of more people with blood cancer.

A note from dad…

Before dad died, he left my brother Tom and me a note that said: ‘Don’t open this until I
die’. In the note, there were
details of what he wanted to happen at his funeral and how he would like
his ashes scattered. He wanted a simple coffin and a single white rose to
symbolise Yorkshire, and he wanted any donations to go to Anthony Nolan.

He did a lot of work for charity did dad. That was his
passion and he became such a champion of Anthony Nolan. They found a stem cell donor
for him but, sadly, the
transplant didn’t work. So we’re carrying on his legacy.

We got a lot of people to sign up to the stem cell register
while he was still alive and then, after he died, it really brought home to people the gravity. It made people get behind the
charity even more.

He touched so many
people’s lives

Baildon Rugby
Club has been part of
our family for generations and it’s actually where my parents met. We scattered
dad’s ashes there. It was just such a huge part of his life. When we organised
the charity tournament, there was no hesitation from anyone – they all wanted to be there for dad.
Rugby attracts such a community and people came from far and wide to
support it.

Dad was one of those people who always put others before
himself. I remember sitting in the car with him once, and he said something
that really stuck with me: ‘The most important thing you can do for someone, is
take an interest in their passions.’ It wasn’t a rule he had, it was just his
way. He loved talking to people and hearing them get excited about their
passions, then he’d go away and learn more. After he died, it really became
clear just how many people’s lives he touched. He was unique. He forged his own
path but he was never a showboat.
At parties, he was usually off in a corner talking to someone, really
listening to them. People loved him for that.

One of the things I liked most about him was that he was his
own person. He wasn’t flamboyant in any way, but he completely had his own
dress sense – he didn’t
abide by the rules of fashion! He thought it was important that we had our ‘five a day’ so he’d be the
dad at the end of a rugby games giving us fruit. As a 10-year-old, you’re like:
‘This is so embarrassing!’ but he was never bothered about being different, he
just did what he thought was right. I think that’s why he was so loved by
everyone at the rugby club.

Saving lives and honouring dad’s memory – Chris and Tom’s story

The rugby community are coming together to achieve his legacy

I think for anyone who experiences grief and loss, doing
something like this is difficult at first. Dad took us to that rugby club from
the age of four, so all my life, all my memories, are of being there with my
dad. It was difficult to
start with, but I got through that.

Tom is more extroverted and really good at public speaking
so he will stand up and spread the message of Anthony Nolan and get young people to sign up
to the register. We’ve got charity buckets at the rugby club all the time. You
can see that it’s having an impact. The best thing for me is that two guys who
I’ve played with have come up as matches. So something that dad started,
despite his death, will go on and have the potential to save other people’s
lives.

We don’t do it for the sense of personal achievement. It’s more about the feeling
that dad’s legacy is carrying on and doing some good in the world. It’s
something that brings people together as well. Having these events, people love
them. They love coming
together. And at the same
time, we can get so much out of them – we get people on the register, we raise money, we play rugby. There’s just a great sense
of community.

‘It feels fitting that he’s still there, where
he spent 50 years of is life.’

Dad’s friends do a lot and there’s a constant presence at
the rugby club in Baildon and with Tom’s club in China, but we also plan
sponsored games twice a year.

I think we’ve raised about £12,000 now, which is phenomenal and most of that
has come from past and present rugby players as well as other people who dad worked
with. Another good thing about rugby is that a lot of young adults are getting
involved in it, so it’s an opportunity to engage people who can join stem cell
register – it’s a great
partnership.

On
‘Yorkshire Day’ last August, we scattered dad’s ashes on the start line. Two
days later, we did the first sponsored game. I don’t know if this sounds
morbid or not, but the last time I was there you could still see his ashes and
I found that comforting. The rugby pitch is the windiest place in the world, so
I don’t know how they managed to stay there. That place meant so much to him. He used to support games
every Saturday, until
he physically couldn’t anymore. So
it feels fitting that he’s still there, where he spent about 50 years of his
life.

For the sponsored game, I picked a team, Tom picked a team and we played. So
many people wanted to get involved and we had some truly great players coming
back to get involved which was wonderful. Dad used to volunteer with the
Bumbles – a mixed
ability side – and they
were there to support us on the day which was great. Then after the game, we
have live music and a pop-up
cocktail bar. Everyone
kindly donated all their profits. It
was a great night. It was amazing to see all the people that came. All his old
teammates came back from all over the world.

We did another sponsored game in January just gone and we’ll
be doing one in August again this year. Dad’s birthday is the 22 August so
we’ll play the game between Yorkshire Day, on the 1st, and his birthday. It
feels fitting.

Saving lives and honouring dad’s memory – Chris and Tom’s story

Keeping dad’s spirit
of kindness alive

My daughter has just been born and, for me, the saddest
thing about losing dad when we did was that he never knew that he was going to
be a grandad. He would have just loved that so much. Before he died one of the
last things he said to me was, ‘I’m trying to hold on so I can be a grandad.’
It’s really sad that he never got to do that.

I’ve been creating videos and that’s really important to me. I wanted to capture moments
with dad so we can all look back.
Then my daughter, as she grows up, will be able to watch videos of her
grandad, which is just brilliant.

I feel some obligation to keep doing this. I feel like it’s
a way of carrying on dad’s legacy. The emotion that I feel knowing someone’s
life could potentially be saved because of what dad started – that’s the best thing about it. If
people’s lives are saved from what we’re doing as a community, in his memory, I
don’t think it’s a big step to say that people’s lives will be saved because of
dad.

It’s like a phoenix rising from the ashes in a way, from beyond the grave. He’s still continuing to
help people, which is what he loved doing all his life.

You can help build on Martin’s legacy by visiting Chris and Tom’s fundraising page. If you’re thinking of fundraising in memory of someone special, our team are here to help. Get in touch about your fundraising plans by filling in this short enquiry form.



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